Guess what today is?! Thuuursday! Which means the second weekly Rainbows and Penguins writing prompt! I'm excited! Are you? Good. Let's get to it!
Remember the rules? (They're fairly simple.)
1. Write for 15 minutes using one or both of the prompts below. (You could write two pieces, one for each prompt if you want. 15 minutes each.)
2. Post the unedited piece in the comments.
3. Give honest (but kind) critique to other's writing. A good formula would be; two or more things you liked, and one or two things you think could be improved upon. Again, honest but kind!
4. Check back often to see if someone has talked about your writing! I will try to reply to all the comments so you'll at least get my opinion! :)
5. Share this with your friends! Twitter, Facebook, Google +, real life, we love it all! I adore new faces and it would be fantastic to see some! :)
I think that's all the rules! Here are the prompts!
•You have been stranded for four days in the desert. You've run out of supplies and it's only a matter of time before you die of thirst. What happens?
•"I see/saw ahead the glittering sight of my savior. Water!"
Set your timers for 15 minutes and get writing! See you in the comments. :)
Ugh. It won't let me post my story again. XD I'll e-mail it to you! ;P
ReplyDeleteI see ahead the glittering sight of my savior. Water! Water, sweet water! I stumble forward and plunge my face into the sand.
ReplyDeleteI curse the mirage for the fifth time that day, shaking sand from my hair. My hair is stuck together with dry sweat. I have no more water in my body to get rid of. Everything is hot and dry. How did I get here in the first place? The last thing I remember is getting in the car with Liam . . .
Liam. Oh, god, where is he?
I look around. I am hopelessly alone. Not even a single cactus is there to keep me company. I'm alone, miles away from civilization, in a desert in Arizona. In freaking July. Just my luck.
It has to be a hundred degrees out. No, that is, in fact, not a hyperbole-ridden claim. I can't think. I'm dizzy. I can see black creeping into my vision. I shake my head and keep walking. I need to keep moving. I need to find someone.
Did they chase us here? Is Liam okay? I'm sure they were following us when I was in that car. Who dumped me here? Did I wander here and have no recollection of the incident?
For a second I think I might cry, but I have no tears to spill. They dried up long ago. At least my clothes aren't sticking to me anymore. Should I be scared that they aren't sticking to me anymore?
The car engine startles me. The only sound I've heard for hours are my shoes crunching through the sand. A green jeep rushes for me and I only manage to jump out of the way.
"Henry!" a woman's voice says as I lay in the sand, my heart thumping painfully against my chest. "You could have run her over, the poor dear!"
DeleteA car door slams and I lift my head. A man a woman, both around the age of fifty, are standing over me. The woman's hand is over her heart, her mouth hanging open a little. The man is bending over me.
"What are you doing out here?" he asks. His voice is deep and gruff, the exact opposite of the woman's.
"I-I don't know. I can't remember."
"Henry, do you think she has amnesia?" The woman clutches Henry's arm with her long, bony fingers. Her nails are so long, they could've counted as claws.
"What's your name?" Henry asks me.
"Kayla. Kayla Jones."
"And you don't remember what you're doing out here?"
"N-no. My friend Liam and I were driving in a car. A red pickup truck. We were trying to get away from--from--"
"Are you running from the cops?" the woman asks, her eyebrows rising steadily up her forehead.
"No! No, we're not doing anything like that! These--these men. They're trying to find us. We're not sure why, but they have guns and--and weapons. They say we have information they want, but I don't know what it is. I think they caught up with us, but I don't know how I got here."
"Get in the car," Henry says. "We'll take you back to the city."
I stand up and get in the back of the jeep. The woman is as pale as paper and looks hysterical. Henry's mouth is pressed into a thin line. He stares straight ahead, never looking back at me.
"What are you doing out here?" I ask. "It's a strange campsite, don't you think?"
Henry doesn't answer, but the woman looks in the rearview mirror at my suspicious face. She glances away quickly, biting her red nails.
"What are you doing here?" I ask again, slowly.
Now Henry looks back at me. He doesn't speak. Just looks at me. That's when I notice the tattoo on the back of his right hand. It's an eagle. The eagle's left wing is held out, but his right wing is folded in.
Oh, god.
I fumble with my buckle. It clicks and I kick the car door open. The woman shrieks and Henry yells, "Don't you dare get out of this car!"
I jump out of the car and roll into the sand. It digs into my skin and I scrape my shoulder on it. I get up and run. I can't outrun a car on dirt, but on sand I might be able to make it. If I don't collapse from dehydration first.
"Get back here!"
They'll never catch me, I think. Never.
Just so I'm not taking credit: This is not my story. It's the Magic Violinist's. It wouldn't post so I had to do it with 2 comments as you can see.
DeleteThanks for posting this for me! :D
DeleteNo problem! :) It was too good to keep in an e-mail! I think the problem is both your pieces have been too long? Maybe. So it might work for you to post it in two comments. Hopefully that works. :)
DeleteOoohhhh, that would explain some things. XD ;P
DeleteWell here's my piece! I finally got it written!
ReplyDeleteI see ahead the glistening sight of my savior! Water! I begin to run toward it as fast as I can, it's hard in the sand of the desert but I manage. Water is ahead and I can taste it already. I run directly into the glittering pool, expecting to feel the cool water on my legs. Instead I feel sand. Endless sand. I collapse on the ground and sob. This is the last straw. I give up. I just want to die already. Nothing has gone right for me the past few weeks. Kidnapped, beaten, interrogated, then finally left in the desert to die.
Only I haven't died. It's been days and I have no water. Yet I live. I cannot believe my bad luck.
After sobbing, I curl up in a ball and decide this is it. I am never going to be rescued. I am going to die alone, nothing is alive for miles upon miles. Not a thing will witness my end. In my head I imagine that I am holding hands with a man. He is soothing me and telling me everything is okay. I believe him. He looks so kind. I can feel the gentle touch of his hands. They are strong but gentle. I imagine this is my husband. We've been together many years and have had many good times. I have had a good life with him. I smile to myself as the made up scene becomes a memory for me. I know his name now. Nathan. He is good and kind. Never has he wronged me. He is everything a man should be. And now as I lie on my hospital bed, he bids me farewell with tears in his eyes and comforting words on his lips. There is no regret. But when I close my eyes to die, I realize, Nathan is not real. I am in a desert. I moan, a feeble, hoarse sound. There seems to be no moisture left in my body.
"Why can't I just die?" I say. I intended to shout but it came out as just a croak. I have nothing left in life. I turn onto my back and look up and the sun. It is blinding but somehow it comforts me. I look up at the sun and smile. What a beautiful thing to see at death's door. I think about my life and the ups and downs I've had. Closing my eyes, I let my heart stop. It's peaceful. And then, I feel no more pain.
I don't really know why it's so morbid...it just kindof happened that way...
Aww, I kept expecting Nathan to show up. ;P
DeleteI really have nothing bad to say about this, except that I wanted to know your character's name. XD It always hard for me to imagine a character with no name. ;P
Great job! :D (And sorry about the emoticon explosions. I have problems). ;)
I <3 emoticons. ;P hehe.
DeleteI wish I knew her name too...I thought about her name a lot when I was writing it but I didn't want to stop to find a perfect one. Hmmm...Liza? Mia? Reyna? I don't know...
I like Mia! :D
DeleteMe too. :)
Delete